This past weekend I attended a conference for women who want to make money doing work they love. I would fall hard into that category. My great dream for the last 8 or 9 years has been to make a living writing online. I’ve made multiple attempts at making writing my career by doing absolutely everything… but writing.
My big takeaway from our very first session was the power of focus. So I asked myself the question: what is my core business? I am a _________?
The vision for what this online space can be for women has been stirring in my heart since 2014. In 2014 I was writing a book I’d been holding onto for 2 years prior. I hosted my first live event that year. The live event, the book, this blog, an online course and a podcast were all birthed from that vision. However, the questions I asked myself during that first session opened my eyes to an underlying issue: I was a writer who was afraid to write.
If you had asked me the day before the conference, if I embraced my calling as a writer, I would have said yes. However, with time and space to breath at this conference I realized I don’t see myself as a writer. In fact, when my sister and other good friends have mentioned opportunities for writers, I’ve told them, those opportunities aren’t for me, I’m not good enough. Yes, I wrote a book, but I’m not as good as those writers. You’ll find their books on any bookstore shelve in the country. Those women make a full time income as writers.
It’s painfully embarrassing to admit how insecure I’ve been about embracing my calling.
At this conference I realized one of the reasons my writing hasn’t found its audience is because I haven’t truly embraced my own voice. I will champion someone else’s blog, book or writing in a heart beat, but not my own. Before the conference I believed to make a living as a writer I had to be the best. I learned at the conference I don’t have to be the best to add value. I also finally heard for myself that “there’s room and opportunities for all of us.” I’ve even told other entrepreneurial friends there’s a reason there can be a McDonald’s, a Burger King, a Whataburger and a Wendy’s all within a one mile radius and not one of them goes out of business. We each have different needs and preferences. I knew this in my head, but I needed to understand in my heart that it applies to my writing.
God has called to write. He’s used words I’ve written to help people make lasting amazing changes in their life.
During and after the conference, I prayed and asked God to help me push past my own fear and insecurity about writing. Perfectionism is killing my confidence and robbing me of fulfilling my purpose.
As a result of this prayer, this week I sensed our family should study the life of Moses. We see talent and potential in our kids in certain areas. Yet, they are saying the exact thing I felt this past weekend: I haven’t been doing this as long as ______. I’m not as good as they are.
Our humanity causes everyone of us to wonder like Moses, Who am I to do ______? God responds with I AM. He reassures us His plans aren’t built on how great and wonderful we are. They are built on the I AM. He takes our unique circumstances, our personalities and our talents and perfectly weaves them together to accomplish His purposes.
How then do we respond, when our good doesn’t feel good enough?
We go to the Source. We go to God in prayer, through reading our word and we ask Him to remind us the Great I AM sent us.
It’s your turn:
Fill in the blank with the core service you provide. Leave a comment with your response to this question: I am a (profession/calling). For example: I am a life coach. or I am a teacher. or I am an artist.
In Kendra’s newest book, The STRONG Womanhood Growth JournalThe STRONG Womanhood Growth Journal, a self directed guide for discovery and transformation, she provides multiple journaling prompts and exercises for you!
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